{ 3 }
Once more we are on our way. At this point it is exceedingly bumpy, since there is no path. The double pelicano is sticking into my back. Nostradampus and Onomatopeia shout at each other ; unspeakable Olla Podrida grumbles at Peccadillo and Cumulonimbus. Already this journey becomes tiresome.
After travelling for six days, we are about to descend into the third valley. Thousands of knees below is the fearsome River Xlx, which we shall follow downstream till we find the shallow crossing. Sparadrap has announced a meeting and we are stopped here, waiting for our tail to catch up with our head.
Sparadrap is pointing out that we may not be coming back ; nor may we be arriving elsewhere. Thus we should build a monument to ourselves in case we all perish, so that our descendants (who of course will never exist) will know what wise and wonderful ancestors were theirs. A magnificent idea! Sparadrap has exhorted us all to return to Coldermost, and build an everlasting monument to ourselves. Unfortunately, some disagree, being anxious to press on toward the long-sought land of Netagrednik.
* * * Agreement has been reached, after two days wasted arguing. All who want a monument shall go back to the bleak plateau, and there create a mighty structure, bearing the names of the Constructors, collectively mentioning the remainder of our people. All those not interested in posterity (fools!) are to press on, but slowly, so that they may be caught up with in the end. Some rearrangement of wagons is taking place ; not without regret.
In Ottoman's wagon five of the nine are leaving him. In return, Mavrodaphne, Partenopeus, Bwzampulism, and Pergola are to join him. Apart from myself, only 220 of us are coming to make the monument. These are Sparadrap, Rigmarole, Kalamazoo, Chattanooga, Coolangatta, Rubadub, Abracadabra, Undernesco, Magnanimouse, Clutterbottom, Zambesi, Critiqueeny, Bdellious, Begonoutaea, Antirrhino, Anapaestic, Pollynomia, Entomology, Zitherrum, Heliotrope, Yzzuwyzzuf, Glagolitsa, Vermicelli, Piccadilly, Wollongong, De Fao Liliori, Hocus Pocus, Holus Bolus, Harum Scarum, Myomotomy, Xerxeroxes, Craddledeeber, Caffuffle, Persimmon, Amphibrach, Catalectric, Glockenspiel, Archbubble, Fandango, Farrago, Doppelganger, Wobbledewook, Grampus, Michelangelo, Nigechavyo Osakana, Harmony-in-a-treetop, Harpzinger, Hockey Patilla, Edialeda, Enasmon, Relasmon, Relionus, Nicephorus, Dirigibull, Alphonsus, Laughinggas, Ethel Chloreyed, Epiglotch, Antimony & Coleoptera, Muldoonovitch, Waikaremoana, Aramoana, Asymptoto, Charybdis, Baphomet, Skidbladnir, Oxymoron, Reflexis, Refractori, Perfunctori, Hemiplegia, Phenylketonuria, Sciatica, Conglombo, Enaluron, Deloocria, Muttaburrasaurus, Scleresy, Dogfotca, Uphonium, Sanitarium, Rolypolyomyelitis, Slimeomyo, Kattegat, Skaggerak, Skattekat, Cheroekat, Popocatapetl, Axolotlitlegs, Vladivostonker, Tautologi, Agnostices, Millipedestrian, Momentum, Velocipede, Perambulatus, Whirligig, Antihexagram, Hexahexaflexagon, Hirondel, Buggerlugs, Falstaffinous, Seminarchie, Gantagruel, Parpantua, Alphabeth, Monothong, Phthisis Da Nisis, Pentameter, Gerunderarm, Gerontophilia, Antimacassar, Sockadocka, Caractacus, Olla Podrida, Buxtehude, Peccadillo, Cumulonimbus, Aspidistra, Vesuvius, Vicy Versy, Quilterbuilt, Zingaresco, Zuccheroso, Jimblejamble, Jehovellah, Uncumstumble, Ysometric, Yelodog, Conundrumbo, Corstorphine, Turpentine, Oerlikon, Pikestaff, Perspicacio, Presbyterious, Haranguertang, Paraphernalia, Panjandrum, Questaquella, Caoutchouc, Mephistopheles, Anaxagoras, Seismichigon, Prestidigitongue, Alcatrazzle, Ophthalmologo, Phlogistonky, Phenobarbara, Bewboc, Necrophilia, Nymphomania, Noilly Prat, Amelia Ratio, Coniunctio, Amos Quito,, Pugnacio, Wanganella, Carb-a-cirb, Telemachus, Referending, Aurora Borealis, Waterlulu, Hugger Mugger, Paramecium, Parabellum, Deidobelba, Hotchkiss, Syphyllis, Gonorrhoea, Dessessopsid, Polyphony, Odo of D'Ood, Madrigallant, Biscuitmarck, Charlemagne, Glauconzola, Kakophony, Kanchenjunga, Kilimanjaro, Saskatchewan, Stromboli, Riccadonna, Stropoff, Transcendentist, Deggelwob, Episcopalia, Tonsillectomy, Gastrophonic, Dezidona, Bamboozlebomb, Methylopium, Elephantastic, Andromedia, Brouhaha, Elbanimoba, Eketahuna, Kabotchka, Basilica, Asa Nisi Masa, Chrononhotonthologos, Cagliostro, Quidditas, Oceanbottom, Cabbagewater, Concomitanz, Charivari, Jeronimo, Geranium, Ponderosa, Andirondack, Ruwenzori, and Cantilever, as well as those I have mentioned already.
At daybreak tomorrow, we faithful few stood on the muddy banks of the Xlx, and watched the rest of our people cross the purple waters at this point where they rage with uncharacteristic restraint, while they appear to flow upward. It is sad to have our people part like this ; it is possible that we may never meet again.
18647
We are back in the first valley. We have only to make our way up the mountain, over the first pass, and then we shall be back in miserable Coldermost. But none of us wants to return. Why not build the monument somewhere closer? The best spot must be the high ledge where we have so often sat and cast longing glances eastward.Sparadrap envisages a structure of poles surmounted by poles, arranged in a lozenge shape, and surmounted by poles, again and again and again, repeated till we run out of materials or inclination, whichever might happen first. Perhaps the magicians could be of some help in turning the stunted shrubs to solid logs, perhaps with one hot glance. Perhaps not. What a useless bunch of creatures our so-called magicians are! Whenever I visit them they seem to be either writing bawdy verse in multicoloured inks on one of their ancient diagrams, or complaining of their lack of Uunüur. Rigmarole and Ottoman are among the best of them: they have some sense of the past.
The philosophers, though, have at last done something practical. They have brought some smooth tree-trunks, saying that they felled and stripped the trees using logic. Peeved magicians surmise that the poles were found somewhere (judging by their weathered appearance, which the philosophers claim they may have produced using the illusion of memory) in which case they may belong to Somebody - in which case that Somebody may reclaim them after we have built our monument - in which case they will take down our monument and be in possession of our thousand and one names - in which case it will be exceedingly bad luck for us.
Animals are hard at work, putting up the poles. As we have 33 poles, we are making a four-layered lozenge, with an additional pole planted vertically in the centre of the top lozenge. On this topmost pole each of us shall carve our glyph.
Now the monument is finished. It looks very small. We are sorry that we did not place it at the top of the mountain, rather than this desolate ledge. Too bad! Tomorrow we leave again.
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