NICOLAS KLIM’S UNDERGROUND JOURNEY
by Ludvig Holbergtranslation © Dennis List, 2000
CHAPTER 4
In which the author narrowly escapes imprisonment, and becomes an Ordinary Messenger for the court.
The Court of the Potuan Empire
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Finally we reached the royal city of Potu: as beautiful and as magnificent as a city could be. Potu has many more buildings than Keba, and the streets are wider and grander. The city square (the first place we stopped at) was filled with merchants, and surrounded by the shops of artists and tradesmen.
I saw, with some astonishment, in the middle of the square, a criminal with a halter around his neck, and a group of grave, elderly trees standing around him. I asked what was the matter, and crime he had done that deserved hanging - specially as I thought there was no capital punishment here. I was told that he was a Projector, who had recommended abolishing a certain old custom, and that those standing around him were senators and lawyers. They were examining his scheme on the spot. If it turned out that his plan was well thought out and would be a social advance, the offender would be not only pardoned, but rewarded. But if his scheme turned out to be damaging to the public, or if he appeared to have planned some advantages for himself - then he would be hanged, as a Disturber of the Realm.
This is why few trees run this risk, or have enough courage to advocate changing any law, unless the idea be so clearly true and just that its success is certain. The Subterraneans believe that the ancient laws and institutions of their ancestors must be upheld and revered. They believe that the government would be in danger, if laws were changed or annulled for anybody's pleasure.
"What would become of the Projectors of our world?" I said to myself. "While pretending a public benefit, they are daily inventing new laws, thinking only of their private gain, and not of the common interest."
At last we reached a spacious house, the usual place of reception for those who had been sent from seminaries throughout the empire. People who are brought to attend on the prince are also taken to that house. Our captain, the Karatti, asked us to get ready, and went off to inform His Highness of our arrival.
He'd hardly left when we heard a noise, like people rejoicing, and the air echoed with the sound of trumpets and the beating of drums. Alarmed at this noise, we went out, and saw a tree with a magnificent retinue and crowned with a wreath of flowers.It was the same citizen who a little earlier I had seen with his neck in a halter. His arguments for changing the law had been successful, and his head was no longer at risk. But I never heard what his arguments were: the people were silent about this. This is normal here. Senate discussions are never leaked in public. It is so different with us, where the Senate's actions and debates are discussed, weighed up, and criticized in every tavern and every street.
Within an hour the Karatti returned, and commanded us all to follow him. We obeyed. On the way, we met some young trees, offering for sale small books of strange and memorable things. I noticed a book entitled A Full and True Account of the Strange Flying Dragon which Appeared last Year. In a picture in that book, I saw myself, engraved just as I looked when I was whirling around this planet with my harpoon and my long rope. I could not help smiling at this picture, and said to myself
Hei! Qualis facies! et quali digna tabella!Having bought the book for 3 Kilacs (about 2 shillings in our money) I walked gravely onward to the palace. Art and Elegance were the theme here, rather than ostentation and magnificence. I noticed the prince had very few attendants. Such was his temperament that he discarded everything superfluous. This court didn't have the same necessity for attendants that ours do. For a tree, every branch is like an arm - so the work of the household can be done three times as fast.It was about dinner time when we arrived at court. His Highness wanted to talk with me alone, and I was introduced into the Presence Room. This prince has a remarkable mixture of mildness and seriousness. He was so even-tempered that nobody had ever seen him frown.
Seeing the prince, I instantly fell on my knees. The courtiers were astonished at this, and when I told his Highness (who asked me why I was kneeling) he ordered me to rise, saying that such reverence was due to God alone. He added that nothing but obedience and hard work could win his favour.
When I rose, he asked me various questions,
Qua veniam, causamque; viae, nomenque; rogatus,He then asked about my journey, and the customs of my world. I explained, as sensibly as I could, the wit, the virtues, the civilized manners of the men of our world, and everything that Mankind prides itself on. He heard my story very coldly, and at some things which I thought he might have admired, he just yawned.
Et patriam: Patria est, respondere, grandior Orbis.
Klimius est Nomen; evni nec puppe per undas.
Nec pede per terras; potuit mihi pervius Aether."Lord!" I said to myself. "How varied are the tastes of mortals. What gives great pleasure to one is nauseous to another."
What most offended His Highness was the story I told him of our legal proceedings, the eloquence of our lawyers, and the speed of our judges in pronouncing sentence. While I was trying to make this clear to him, he interrupted me, changing the subject. Finally he asked about our religion and worship.
I concisely explained the basis of our religion. At this, his face softened a little. He said he could not really subscribe to these beliefs, and it puzzled him how a race of people with such weak judgement should hold such sound notions of God and worship. When he heard that the Christians were divided into numerous sects, and that members of a family would persecute one another, based on some small differences in matters of faith, he told me:
"Among us there are also a lot of different beliefs about matters of worship. But one man doesn't persecute another for that. Persecution based on differences of opinion or perception can only come from pride, with some people thinking themselves to be wiser than the rest. Such pride must be highly displeasing to the Supreme Being, who must prize meekness and humility among mortals. We never tease a group of judges about anyone who happens to differ from the common opinion on matters of speculation - as long as his beliefs are sincere, and he conforms in his actions to the public worship of God.
"In this we follow the path chalked out for us by our ancestors, who always thought it inhuman to fetter the understanding and to tyrannize over the conscience. In our politics we commend the observance of this rule, so if my subjects differ about the make of my body, or my way of life, or my economy, or any such sort of thing - yet at the same time acknowledge me as their lawful sovereign, and are obedient to me - then I regard them all as good subjects."
"Your most serene highness," I replied. "In our world such conduct would be called Syncretism, and would be highly condemned by the educated classes."
The prince didn't give me a chance to say any more. Seeming a little displeased, he walked away, and commanded me to stay there till dinner was over. His Highness sat down to table with his Royal Consort and their son, as well as the High Chancellor, or Kadoki. This Kadoki was greatly esteemed by the Potuans for his politeness, his prudence, and his wariness. For twenty years, he never once expressed his opinions in the Senate chamber without everybody agreeing. And every decree he made about the public stood firm and unchanged, so that his decrees were like mathematical laws.
But his understanding was so slow that the smallest decision would take him two weeks. In our world he would be thought hardly fit for important business, because delay seems like laziness. But when he understood something, he knew it thoroughly. Since he inquired into everything in great detail, he probably achieved more than ten of our people. They might make instant decisions, and they might be called great geniuses, but whole laws must afterwards be amended and generally licked into shape. And when these lawmakers' terms of office expire, it is discovered that they have attempted everything, but achieved nothing.
Thus one of the maxims of the Potuan court is that people who do their business quickly are like those who walk around in circles, but get nowhere.
When the royal family was seated, a maid with eight branches came in, carrying a dish on every branch. In a moment, the whole table was covered. Soon another tree came in, with eight jugs of different types of wine. This one had nine branches, and was therefore very well suited for the court's domestic service. This whole dinner was waited on by only two servants - though in terrestrial courts, a great army of servants would have been needed. The dishes were taken away with the same dexterity as they were put down.
It was a frugal but not inelegant meal. Despite the great number of dishes, the sovereign ate only one. Not so, the great ones of our globe, who never regard a supper as grand unless each course of dishes is followed by a more and more exquisite selection.
During the meal, the conversation was about morality or politics - so even the sensual pleasures of the table were accompanied by a seasoning of intellect. I was also discussed. From the quickness of my senses, they concluded I was "not the wood from which Mercury could be made."
After the meal, I was ordered to produce my certificate. After examining this, the prince looked at my feet and said that the Karatti had judged my fate correctly. Thunderstruck with this answer, and overwhelmed with tears, I begged for a review - since on a more intimate scrutiny into the virtues of my mind and my understanding, I might reasonably expect a milder judgement to be made.
His Highness, being a just and merciful prince, was not at all upset at my forward and unusual request. He asked the Karatti (who was there) to examine me again, as accurately as possible. During this trial, the prince went off to read some other certificates.
With the prince away, the Karatti proposed a new set of questions for me to solve. I answered them with my usual readiness. The Karatti then said to me "You answer quickly, but not thoroughly. Your answers show that you readily grasp the question, but don't understand it intimately."
My examination being finished, the prince went into the council chamber, and soon returned with his final sentence for me. He said that I had acted imprudently in calling into question the judgement of the Karatti, and that therefore I had incurred the penalty which the third chapter of the fourth book (Skibal and Kibal as they call them) inflicts on slanderers.My penalty was to undergo Venaesection in both my branches, and also to be imprisoned.
The words of the law (book 4, chapter 3) concerning defamation are these:
Spik.antri.flak.shak.mak.tabu.mihalatti.silac. Though the meaning of these words was very clear, and the law too sacred to be evaded, his most Serene Highness, by stretching his royal prerogative, decided to pardon my offence, bearing in mind that I was a foreigner - because it was caused by an immaturity of judgement, and my ignorance of the law.
And in even stronger evidence of his graciousness, he appointed me one of his Ordinary Messengers - an honour that I should have been very satisfied with.
Immediately, the Kiva (or secretary) was sent for. He entered my name in the Book of Promotions, together with the names of several other candidates. This secretary was an extraordinary person. He had eleven pairs of branches, and could therefore write eleven letters at the same time, with the same ease as we could write one. However he had a very indifferent judgement, so he could never expect any further promotion, and he grew old in the same position he had filled for 30 years.
I became a close friend of his, and could not help feeling a fondness for him, because all the edicts and state letters that he wrote I (as Ordinary Messenger) delivered throughout the province. I was often astonished to see him carry out business so quickly. It was common for him to write 11 letters at once, then seal them all in the same instant.
Among the tree families, a large number of branches is considered a blessing. Thus women, immediately after giving birth, usually tell the neighbours how many branches their infant has brought into the world. Our secretary's father, I was told, had been born with 12 branches, and his family had long been famous for having many branches.
When the certificate which confirmed me in my office had been written out, I retired to bed. Though my limbs were very tired, I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking of the lowly job I'd been given - a great debasement for one who was a candidate for holy orders, and a bachelor of arts in the upper world. And now I was only a vile subterranean court messenger! These mortifying thoughts kept me awake most of the night. During this agitated time, I several times took out the university degree that I had brought with me. (As I noted earlier, the night here is almost as light as the day.)
At last, worn out by worry, I finally fell asleep. But I had no peace even then: a variety of scenes played themselves out in my dreams. I thought I'd returned to my own country. While telling a lot of people what had happened to me in my subterranean tour. Then I was sailing in the air again, fighting with the griffin once more. He gave me such a hot reception that it woke me from my sleep.
I was shocked to see by my bedside an enormous monkey. As the doors had been left open, it had got into my bedroom. This unexpected sight chilled my blood, and I woke the whole house with my cries for help. Some trees, sleeping in nearby rooms, rushed in, disengaged me from the struggle, and drove the beastly creature away.
I heard afterwards that this episode greatly amused the prince. But in order that this shouldn't happen again, he commanded that I should be dressed in subterranean style, adorned with artificial branches. As for my European garments, they were taken from me, and because of their novelty hung up in the prince's wardrobe, with this inscription:
The Dress of a Subterranean Animal "Bless me!" I said to myself. If Master Andrew, the tailor in Bergen who made this suit, should know that his workmanship was preserved with the curiosities of a subterranean prince, he'd become very vain, and think himself one of the greatest men in the city.
After the misfortune with the monkey, sleep forsook me. In the morning they brought me my certificate, which gave me the full powers to carry out my duties.
Soon, a lot of business poured in for me. Carrying the royal edicts and letters to every city of his dominion, I was perpetual motion itself. In these expeditions, I explored the whole country, and in many places discovered a high level of politeness and understanding among the inhabitants. Only the people in the city of Mabolki, who were all brambles, seemed rude and uncultivated.
Each province has its special trees, or natives of the place - particularly the province of Husbandmen. In the large cities, specially in the capital, there is a mixture of all sorts of trees.
The favourable views I'd formed of the wisdom of this people steadily increased, as I came to know them better. The laws and customs which I had first disapproved of, on mature reflection seemed admirable to me. I could easily come up with a lot of examples of practices which at first seemed absurd, but, having given the matter some thought, seemed very wise. From a thousand examples, I'll mention only this one, which gives you a perfect idea of these people.
A student of the humanities was a candidate for the vacant position of schoolmaster. His chances were strong because the people of the city of Nahami certified that the candidate had lived quietly for four years with a wanton and unfaithful wife, and wore his horns very patiently. The certificate was expressed like this:
"Whereas the learned and venerable Jocthan Hu has asked his neighbours to provide a testimonial of his life and morals, we, the citizens living in the area of the city called Posko, testify that the said Jocthan Hu has lived in wedlock for four full years with a disloyal wife, without the least noise or disturbance. He has worn his horns with laudable patience, and with such meekness has borne this misfortune that we judge him highly worthy to succeed to the vacant mastership, if his learning is equal to his morals.To this recommendation was attached a testimonial from the Karatti of the seminary, attes6ting to his learning and studies. This seemed to be more relevant. I could not understand what merit cuckoldry gave this person over the other candidates.
Given under our hands this 10th day of the month Palm,
in the 3000th year after the Great Flood."It turned out that the meaning was this: among the virtues most praiseworthy in a teacher, moderation is one. For with all his pomp of learning, unless he has enormous patience, he would be not well qualified for employment as a teacher. This occupation should be done without severity or passion, in case the minds of youths should be hardened by untimely punishment. And since a greater example of moderation could hardly be given than this candidate's, his neighbours presented this as his chief virtue.
It is said that His Majesty laughed immoderately at such an unusual recommendation, but since it was far from absurd, he appointed Jocthan Hu to the position. As it turned out, he carried out his duties so well, and so struck his pupils with his mildness and clemency, that they regarded him as a parent rather than a teacher. So great was their passion for learning under such soft and gentle leadership, that through the entire dominion there were few schools that each year sent out such eminent, learned, and civilized trees.
During the several years of my employment as messenger, I often had opportunities to study the soil, the customs and manners of the people, and their policy, religion, laws, and studies. So I hope it will not be unacceptable to you, the reader, if I collect together some observations that you will find scattered throughout the whole book.