NICOLAS KLIM’S UNDERGROUND JOURNEY
by Ludvig Holbergtranslation © Dennis List, 2003
CHAPTER 10: PART I
In which the author is carried up by a large bird, and arrives in Martinia, a country ruled by monkeys.
The author's banishment to the skies
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So far, I have not mentioned the unusual punishment the Potuans have, of banishing people into the sky. But now it's time I described it. Twice a year, at certain seasons, some enormous birds appear on this planet. They are called Cupac, which means mail birds. Their regular comings and goings have always defied explanations from the naturalists on this planet.
One theory is that the birds arrive in search of particular insects - large flies, which are always in abundance at this time of year, and which the birds obviously find delicious. Further evidence for this theory is that when the flies disappear, the birds fly up into the sky. Further evidence for this is seen in other countries, where birds appear by the same natural instinct, for the same reasons.
Others believe that these birds are trained to come here by the sky-dwellers, like our falcons and other birds of prey. This theory is supported by the care and dexterity with which the birds take home their prey, to lay down in front of their masters. It also seems that these birds are either trained, or led by their own reason, because when the season for their departure approaches, they are so tame that they allow nets or small chains to be thrown over them, under which they lie quietly for many days. The Potuans feed them by hand with the aforesaid flies, collecting a great quantity for just this purpose. In this way, the birds are fed until everything is ready for those who are to be banished.
In preparation for departure, a box or cage is tied onto the net thrown over a bird. Each of these cages is large enough to hold one person. As their supply of insects runs out, the birds fly up into the air, returning to the skies where they came from.
This was the wonderful means through which I and several other exiles were sent to a new world.
At this time, two other citizens of Potua faced banishment for different crimes. They too were now preparing for their journey. One of them was a metaphysician, who had received his punishment for arguing about the essence of God and the nature of spiritual substance. For his first offence of this kind, he'd been punished by having one arm removed, but after his second offence, he was being banished forever to the skies.
The other criminal was a fanatic, who had some doubts about religion, and about the civil rights of the state. He'd tried to subvert the foundations of each of these, and refused to obey the public laws, saying that such obedience was against the dictates of his conscience. Using powerful arguments, his friends tried to cure him of this conceit. They demonstrated to him how many delusions these impulses of conscience were subject to. They told him that enthusiasm and conscience were often confused with melancholy and some corrupt bodily humours. They argued with him about the foolishness of appealing to the authority of conscience, and how unjust of him it was to say that his mental impulses might set an example for others, who would use the same argument, and cause their own conscience to oppose others. Finally they proved to him that whoever used this principle, of conscience leading to disobedience, should be excluded from the rights and benefits of the community, because every good citizen should implicitly obey the laws. However (his friends showed) a fanatic neither would nor could observe obedience, because his conscience was his sole guide.
But all these arguments had no effect on the mind of our fanatic. He continued to be obstinate and incorrigible, and was banished to the skies.
So this time there were only three of us undergoing this punishment: a newcomer, a metaphysician, and a fanatic.
At the beginning of the month of Birches, we were all carried form prison to separate places. What became of the metaphysician and the fanatic I don't know. I was too worried about my own fate to care about anybody else's. I was taken to the departure point, and shoved into the cage, with enough provisions to last me for two or three days.
Soon after this, as the birds found that no more flies were being brought to them, they took the hint, and flew up from Potua with great speed. The distance to the sky from the planet Nazar is said by the subterraneans to be about a hundred miles. How long the voyage took me I can't say, but it seemed to be no more than about 24 hours.
After a profound silence, finally a mixed noise reached my ears, and I deduced that I wasn't far from land. I then found how carefully these birds had been trained, because they landed their cargo with great care, so as not to injure it.
Immediately I was surrounded by a large crowd of monkeys. This sight gave me a great scare, remembering my encounter with them on the planet of Nazar. I was even more frightened when I heard these monkeys speaking to each other, and when I noticed they were clad in multi-coloured clothes. I guessed then that they were the inhabitants of that country. But after all the wonders I'd seen, nothing could now seem strange, so I began to recover my courage - specially as I'd noticed that these creatures approached me with respect and kindness, taking me gently out of my cage, and receiving me with the humanity due to strangers.
In our world, even Ambassadors are hardly received with more ceremony than I was by the monkeys. They stood before me, one after another, repeating the words "Pul asser." After they had repeated the phrase several times, I repeated the same words myself. They all began to laugh, and with comic gestures showed me that they were delighted to hear me speak their language. This led me to conclude that these people were a frothy, babbling race of creatures, and great admirers of novelty. When they spoke, you'd think drums were beating, so loud and long did they chatter. In a word, as far as dress, manner, speech, and body shape were concerned, these monkeys were the exact opposite of the Potuans.
At first they were astonished at my figure, mainly because I lacked a tail. Since among the whole of creation no other creature looks as much like us as monkeys do, if I had a tail they'd have taken me for one of their own species. Of course, all the others who'd been transported from Potua looked totally different to them.
At the time I landed here, the tides were very high, because of the proximity of the planet Nazar. In the same way that tides on Earth are influenced by the moon, the tides in this land of the sky increase and decrease according to the nearness of Nazar.
Soon I was taken to a mansion, beautifully finished with expensive stone, marble, mirrors, vases, and tapestries. Sentinels were posted at the gate, which suggested to me that this could not be the house of an ordinary monkey. I was soon told that it was the home of the chief magistrate. Being very interested in speaking with me, he hired some instructors to teach me their language.
After almost three months of instruction, I could speak the tongue quite fluently. I hoped to gain everybody's imagination, through my great genius and prodigious memory. However my tutors regarded me as slower and duller than average. They lost their patience, and threatened to end my instruction.
At Potu I was derided for being too fast, and nicknamed Scabba ("quick parts"). Now, here, due to my stupidity and dullness, they called me Kakidoran, which means Clown or Dunce. The people who are most esteemed here are those who are quick-minded, and speak in a rapid volley of words.
While I was learning the monkey language, my host took me around the city, where I saw every form of luxury. With all the coaches, chaises, valets, and the crowds of people hurrying everywhere, we had to push forcefully to make our way. But that was nothing compared to the Metropolis, where in the city centre you could see everything that mortal vanity might possibly invent.
Having finally learned the language, I was taken to the capital by my host, who hoped to earn favour with a senator by giving him a present: that rare curiosity, myself. The form of government here is aristocracy. Ultimate authority rests with the Grand Senate, all of whose members are of noble birth. No plebeian can hope to be more than a soldier or junior magistrate in a province or a lesser city. Occasionally, though, one of this class may arrive at the Consulate, but only if they possess very extraordinary merit. Thus it was for me that my host obtained a consulship. So fertile was his genius that within one month he proposed 28 new laws. Though less than half of them were designed for the good of the public, they were specimens of a fruitful invention, earning him great respect. Throughout the whole subterranean world, there is no place where innovators are more esteemed than in this republic.
Their capital city, called Martinia, gives its name to the whole country. it is famous for its fine situation, the grandeur of its buildings, its commerce, and its navy. In terms of land area and number of inhabitants, I believe it rivals Potua. Every street was so crowded that we were forced to push our way to reach the part of the city where the Syndic of the Senate lived: because it was to him that the Consul would give me.
When we approached the Syndic's house, my friend the consul went into an inn, to tidy himself up, making his person and his clothes fit to appear before the Syndic. Straight away there appeared a small army of valets and footmen, commonly called Maskatti. They are always used before people enter the palaces of the senators. They brush your clothes, remove the spots, and readjust everything that's out of place, even the smallest plait. One of these Maskatti took the consul's sword, polished the blade, and then returned it to him. Another dressed his tail with multi-coloured ribbons. These monkeys are very keen on ornamenting their tails. There were some senators, and specially some senators' wives, whose tails on important occasions were dressed so elaborately that it must have cost 1000 thalers in our money.
A third Maskatti approached the consul with a geometrical instrument, to measure his clothes and see if they hung in the correct proportions. A fourth, with a bottle of paint, improved the consul's face. A fifth examined his feet, and trimmed his toenails. A sixth brought him perfumed water to wash with. Soon afterwards, one brought a towel, another a comb, and yet another a mirror - all with an exactness worthy of a geometer measuring a map. "How much time and expense" I wondered to myself, "can the women here take to dress, when there's so much fuss in grooming one of our own sex?"
Indeed, the Martinian women exceed all limits, covering their defects with such a load of paint that it makes their persons offensive. When sweat and paint are combined, it produces an odour like that from large kitchens: in other words, you don't know what you are smelling, but you do know that it is something quite disagreeable.
My host, thus painted, powdered, and polished, went to the Syndic's palace, attended only by three valets. When he reached the courtyard he took off his shoes, in case they should leave any dirt on the marble floor. He was forced to wait a full hour before the Syndic was told that he was there, and then he had to pay a fee to some of the guards and servants.
The Syndic was sitting on a gilt couch. When he noticed me coming in with my host, he burst into uncontrollable laughter, then asked me a thousand trivial questions.
...ut mihi sudor ad imos Manaret talos...On each of my replies, he redoubled his fits of laughter.Ingeminat tremulos, naso crispante, cachinnos.I soon formed the opinion that playing the buffoon was considered a virtue here, since the government had made this person the Syndic (the second most important in the Senate). I said as much to my friend, who assured me that the Syndic was a monkey of great abilities, as demonstrated by his great experience in a wide range of business. His perception was so acute that, even over a glass, he would transact affairs of great importance. Between courses, he would often draw up a new law. I asked if such laws, so quickly conceived, lasted long. My host replied that, like all other laws, they continued in force till the Senate decided to repeal them.The Syndic spoke with me for half an hour, as loquacious as one of our European barbers. He then turned to my friend, and told him that he'd take me as one of his servants - though because of my slow intellect, he doubted that I'd be useful for anything.
My friend the consul replied "Myself, I've noticed a natural torpor or dullness in him, but give him enough time for reflection, and you'll find that his judgement is reasonable."
"That's of no value here," the Syndic replied. "We have so much to do that there's no time for delays."
With those words, he began to examine my limbs and my body. After a short survey, he asked me to lift a certain weight from the floor, which I did without much trouble. He then told me that, though Nature had been unkind as far as my intellect was concerned, she had compensated for that by giving me great bodily strength.
I was then ordered to another apartment, where the servants received me very pleasantly - though their excessive rudeness and gestures troubled me. They asked me so many questions about our world that I didn't know how to answer them - so I said what first came to my mind: some truth and some falsehood, just to satisfy their impatient curiosity.